Twins Baseball and corporate speak in academia..or, "Word optometry"

Ron Gardenhire, manager of the Minnesota Twins, is not a professor of baseball, but last night after the Twins game he had a teaching moment, at least for one reporter. "He learned him good," you might say.

Gardenhire is an angry man, and has been ejected from a higher-percentage of games (per games coached) than any other baseball manager. When a player asked him something to the effect of how do you see the Twins "moving forward" into the playoffs, Gardenhire replied (paraphrasing, as I can't find the actual press conference footage, "Moving forward? What the hell does that mean, moving forward? Do you want to move forward into the next room and ask me the same question? Because if you do, I'll give you the same answer." He is an angry man.

But "moving forward" is a weasel word, there's no doubt. It says and asks nothing specific, and as far as providing an actual vision for anything, it is a word in dire need of an optometrist.

We're guilty of weasel words at the U, too. I have a friend who used to play a game called "Bu** Sh** Bingo," which is probably explanation enough.

So how do we avoid language like this? How do we talk and communicate like normal people? It might help to first look at causes, and then maybe we can find the corrective lenses.

Self-consciousness is surely a cause, perhaps especially in academia. Trying to sound flashy and smart in a sea of PhD's is a natural inclination, but if it's not a natural you, people will see through it, and whatever you're trying to convey will be lost. Word obesity is often the phrase used to describe the outcomes, like when I tell people that I work in "Universitas Relatus." If you say what you mean, you're much more likely to mean what you say, and those who hear you are more likely to see what you say and believe.

Check out some examples from this great blog, and feel free to add your own or comment at will.

• If you want ice in your drink, do you think about it as "adding value"?

• Do you "request the status of the deliverable" when you're wondering if lunch is ready?

• We don't help set something up, we "coordinate to facilitate it".

Here's some more on talking normal from our British friends.

Lastly, can anyone suggest a faculty member who might be willing to give a tutorial on the subject, perhaps even sharing insights about communications at the U?